Incubation

So, because you're all dying to know the news, and because I'm ordered to bed rest and have nothing else to do for the rest of the night (other than procrastinate on some work assignments), I'll post the most recent update.

We have some great news and some sort of not-so-good news to share.

Let me start by reporting, just for the record, that following the egg retrieval, while I've felt fine and relatively pain free, I have been extremely bloated (TMI, I know). They say this is common, your ovaries are swollen and pretty much it just feels like everything down there is swollen. I gained 4 pounds over the weekend. I might have indulged in an In and Out Burger, I confess, but I didn't think that would be enough to put on 4 pounds. They assure me it's water weight, and I suppose, now is not the time to start worrying about gaining pounds, but it's just uncomfortable. I've wanted to hit the gym so badly, much to Stuart's dismay. I did go last night and this morning and spent some time on the elliptical, being as gentle as possible. It at least helps my psyche.

This morning, I had an acupuncture treatment prior to my implantation. It was a nice time to relax and just reflect on the big step immediately before me. The acupuncture has been interesting. I have enjoyed it more than anticipated, mainly because it gives me an hour to just rest mentally and physically - a much needed break during all these other treatments and chaos.

After the treatment, I popped a valium (as prescribed) which made me pretty loopy and kind of drowsy. Stuart, who was the best chauffeur, drove me to the clinic for my implantation. I was given strict orders to come with a full bladder - as full as I could comfortably be. Apparently that helps them to see the uterus better on an ultrasound, they say it straightens it out. So, I did as I was told and was pretty much bursting by the time I got to the clinic. I might have over done it because I didn't think I was going to make it through the implantation. Luckily I did. Wouldn't that be a funny story?

When we got to the clinic, they wheeled in this crazy looking incubator thing that apparently housed our little embryos. The doctor announced there were 2 healthy ones they'd be implanting. I quickly piped up and said, "oh, but we're putting in 3." The doctor (which is a different one whom I had spoken with on the phone on Sunday because there are 2 I work with) was very clear he would only implant 2 inside me. He said, given my age and my good health the risk of multiples with 3 embryos was just too high. And not to worry because we had 2 very healthy embryos that he was confident would do their job. I was a little discouraged, just to have the decision switched in the moment and without notice. But I trust him, as he's one of the most respected IVF doctors in the country.

They implanted the embryos and then let me use the restroom. RELIEF! I then spent about 30 minutes in the clinic just laying on a table. I laid there and prayed, pretty much the whole time. It was the only thing I could think to do in that moment and it brought peace.

When the doctor came in, we learned the not-so-good news. So, originally I had 12 eggs, 9 of those eggs were fertilized by Stuart's sperm. Everything looked great initially. However, as they let the fertilized eggs reproduce over the last 72 hours, only 2 of them did what they needed to do. They look for embryos that have either 6 or 8 cells. These are the ones strong enough to implant. We had two 8-cell embryos that looked really healthy and strong. The doctor said they were A-plus material. However, the other 7 didn't do so well. We had one 4-cell, a few 3-cells, and the rest 2-cells. He said none of them would probably survive the freezing process, something I was really hoping to do so that we could avoid the entire procedure again in the future.

Though this news was a bit discouraging, and we didn't get to freeze any for future attempts, it does shed some light on our fertility challenges. He explained that we were probably very wise to choose IVF because otherwise, we would continue to "spin our wheels." It seems that part of our problem might be that while Stu's sperm can fertilize my eggs, something about the combination of our eggs and sperm results in fertilized eggs that simply stop growing/multiplying. That being the case, they stop growing before they can even implant. He said it is unusual to have 9 embryos where 7 of them just stopped growing. So, there you have it, maybe a diagnosis? At least it's an indication of what might have been going wrong all these years and confirms our decision to move forward with IVF.

We feel at peace and happy about the prognosis before us. He said we have about a 15% chance of twins, which would be fabulous, but we'll just be thrilled with whomever chooses to enter our family. It's such a blessing to have modern medicine and to know that we can pretty much do the impossible.

I followed my implantation with a second acupuncture treatment. Again, more time to lay on a table, reflect, and pray. A few tears may have been shed, perhaps just tears of relief and peace.

I will continue on a regiment of progesterone, estrogen, and baby aspirin to give these little embryos every fighting chance they have. But, now my job is to be the best incubator I can be. This does mean forgetting about my water-weight gain, being okay with some walking for exercise over the next couple of weeks, eating healthy, and just enjoying the holiday season. That's not so bad right? (okay, but kind of hard for a busy body like myself)

Thank you friends for all your prayers and support. Again, I can't tell you how loved we have felt. You have made this whole experience sweet!

We'll keep you updated and thanks for reading.