I hope you know...

My friend Jeremy and I were talking last night about the mid-20's life crises we are having. (Silly, I know, but yet, very real) Strangely enough, everyone I've talked with lately, or blog posts I've been reading, seem to reference a similar thing. It seems many of my friends and acquaintainces are struggling right now in different ways with finding their true callings in life and who they REALLY are now that they are more settled and their entire life seems to be rolling out in front of them. They're looking at that picture and thinking, "Is this what I really want it to be? Is this what I've been working towards? If not, is it too late to change it? Am I stuck? What do I do next" and so on and so forth. I am no exception (I've had all of these thoughts).

Don't get me wrong, I am VERY blessed. My current trials and challenges are my own, but they are nothing compared with what I hear about and observe in other people all around our world. This weekend, I was able to attend a fundraiser dinner for Unitus - a micocredit facilitator that literally changes the lives of women and children in poverty. I was awe-struck by the plights of so many who wake up in the morning in homes made of tin and dirt and don't know where their next meal will come from. Compared to these kinds of challenges, my life is very easy. This I realize.

However, I am struggling with feeling like I am not living up to my full potential, that I'm not doing enough of the things I should be doing, with finding the time in one day to work, exercise, remodel, love my husband, read my scriptures, serve others, cook, clean, and relax. I am struggling with not feeling like I am able to fulfill my divine role in this life, with feeling that I'm losing the creative outlets that I used to love and that I used to define myself by. I'm struggling with the feeling that I'm in a holding pattern waiting for my "real" life to begin - when in the process, I'm letting the "prime" of my life pass by me. I'm struggling with learning to live in the moment and love who I am now while working towards what I really want to be. All these things are difficult. I've had a hard time.

Despite these challenges, many things I've read have been helpful to me including revisiting my favorite passage of literature from The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath (the one about the fig tree); a beautiful post by an old friend, Kathryn; and great insights from my sister-in-law, Caitlin. Most of all I was touched by this video posted by my good friend Brooke. It feels like a small part of the much bigger answer, but it's a place to start.



So to all my friends who too find themselves in the mid-20's life crises, hang in there. You're not alone.